Bitter Memories
by 185-aixelsyD-581
Summary: Trapped in the dungeons of Black Manor, Sirius has only one option to keep him going; his memories of Remus. however, with each passing hour Sirius can feel his sanity slowly slipping away. While Remus desperately tries to save him, even going to so far as to join with the very werewolf who marked him when he was young. Will they ever be reunited? WARNING: Rape; Gay; Torture.


Sirius Black sat in the darkest corner in the Black Manor's dungeon. It was cold and had no light except for what seeped down the stairs, casting a striped rectangle of light on the floor at the entrance. But he wasn't alone. He was frequented by Lucius Malfoy who loved to play "games" with him. Sirius had lived through years of dementor torture, but it was never physical, always mental abuse, but Lucius liked to see him bleed, and simply being caged again brought back those horrible feelings. The stone floor was still painted red in places, and he had only been there a week. Stone support beams dotted the large underground room in two neat lines; or four if you counted them the other way. Sirius was chained to one of the furthest colums from the entrance; but thankfully his bindings were long enough for him to reach the corner of the room and sit as comfortably as he could.

It wasn't the first time he had been locked away, and he wasn't keep on being encarcerated again. The shaggy-haired man had gone to the ministry to protect his godson from falling into a trap but the Order had almost been too late. they hadn't expected Harry to make it there at all, but it seemed to Sirius that Harry obviously had very wise friends.

During the heat of the battle Sirius' cousin, Bellatrix, had almost killed him because of a slip up on his part, Sirius had been knocked unconscious. Perhaps she had killed him after all, and this was his own personal hell. Sirius had thought Azkaban had been hell. Loosing yourself a piece at a time was a special kind of torture that didn't heal quickly. Over the past two years Moony had done his best to put the broken pieces of Sirius' psyche back in order. Unfortunately, his hard work could only do so much, and Sirius could feel himself slipping back into the madness as each day drew on. He could feel his need for Remus' presence grow stronger with each passing hour. Remus had a way of calming his chaotic mind, keeping the torrent of violent thoughts at bay with his gentle words and soft voice, like a cool summer breeze breaking through the heat of the sun.

Sirius hadn't always been stark-raving man, or dependent on Remus' kindness. He was a playboy back in his school days, and he could win over anyone's affection, to any extent. It was true he wasn't very virtuous but that was just part of his charm. His girlfriends came and went as often as the sun rose, but there was one thing that had always stayed the same; his friends. Until that rat betrayed James and got both him and Lily murdered. The worst part is that the one they had trusted the most had actually been blamed for it.

~Sirius' Memory~

Sirius was preparing, one morning, for a visit to Godric's Hollow, to see his best friends that were in hiding there. They had to be careful because of some stupid prophecy foretelling the destruction of He-who-must-not-be-named by a boy who was born at the same time as James' son Harry. In Sirius' opinion everyone was over-thinking it. Prophecies were always vague and could be interpreted in many different ways, but apparently the Dark Lord wasn't going to take any chances. It was Dumbledore, the leader of the Order of the Phoenix, who had decided they should go into hiding.

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror and flashed a charming smile at his reflection. his glossy black hair was shaggy and pulled into a short ponytail at the nape of his neck. He had eyes the color of a midday summer sky that were full of laughter. He was clean shaven, keeping the appearance of an older teen even though he was approaching 2. He straightened his fading leather jacket over his black cotton shirt. The jacket was worn so many times that where he rubbed and stretched the most was turning into a soft amber color. His jeans were faded but they fit him well and were worn thin around the knees. It was his usual ensemble and the ladies loved it; so he wasn't about to change for anyone.

Suddenly the sound of knocking filled the small apartment. Sirius turned and hurried to the living room of his flat. it was probably Moony, come to join him on the visit.

He opened the door to see three men dressed in the official robed of the ministry's police force. Long and black with the Ministry's insignia stitched over the breast. They wore stern scowls with deep wrinkles in their brows.

Sirius looked from one man to the other. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"Is your name Sirius Black?" spoke the man in the center. His robes were slightly different, the insignia showing that he was of a higher rank than the other two.

"That depends on who's asking." Sirius leaned against the door jam and smiled jovially. He could think of any possible reason these men would be visiting him, so there couldn't be anything wrong.

"Sirius Black, you are under arrest for-"

"I'm what?!" the man snapped, utter shock crossing his handsome features. His body posture completely changed, straightening himself but otherwise freezing in place.

The two men on the outsides stepped forward and grabbed Sirius by the upper arms, pulling him out into the hallway.

"For the murders of James and Lily Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and the attempted murder of Harry Potter." the officer continued in a no-nonsense tone, folding his hands in front of himself and watching his men take control of the younger man.

"W-what?! Murder?! James and Lily are dead?!" Sirius was screaming as they pulled him out of his apartment. "What about Harry? Is Harry alright?!" but they wouldn't answer him. they took him straight to the ministry where he was placed in a temporary holding cell. it was the first time he was ever caged.

~The Present~

He didn't have many friends left after that. But he would've bet his life, and lost that bet, on Remus' support.

"It's been over a week now." Remus said the room full of Order members. "We have to make a push and save Sirius." the tawny-haired man insisted, looking from one face to the other with desperate amber eyes.

"I agree." said Severus SNape from across the table. "But I also agree that we need a solid plan before we act too rashly. I'm surprised at you Lupin." the man said in his deep voice. "You usually think things through better than this."

Remus took a deep breath to calm himself he had never had a problem with Severus growing. Snape was even kind enough to keep him in steady supply of the _Wolfsbane_ potion throughout school and even now. Without Snape Remus would be changing into the wolf every lunar cycle; to that he was grateful. "I just think we should do something before it's too late."

"And what happens if we rush in and fail?" Severus challenged, being the voice of reason in today's meeting. Everyone else was staying decidedly quiet.

"But he's with the Malfoys, doesn't it worry you what they might be doing to him?" Lupin continued, grasping at straws.

Severus took a deep breath. "From what I hear they're keeping him alive; I'm not sure of the reasons as of yet, but I will let you know if anything develops. In the meantime we should brainstorm some plausible rescue plans."

Remus' heart sank in his chest and he dropped back into his seat. Severus was right, of course he was right. There was no way they could save Sirius without a air-tight plan. Still, Remus wasn't able to calm down enough to help form one. He was utterly useless.

~Remus' Memory~

Remus sat on the right of a beautiful redhead named Lily Evans. She had been the first to introduce themselves to him after he had been sorted into the Gryffindor house. She was small and friendly; and currently trying to gain the attention of a boy to her left.

"James," she said, getting no response.

He was tall and had very dark hair. he was facing another tall boy next to him and laughing. It was hard to see the other boy, but there was a pudgy one sitting across from James. He had round chubby cheeks and brown hair that shaded his tiny eyes.

James," Lily tried again, this time pattying the older boy's shoulder. When he turned around she smiled and continued. Her green eyes were so vivid and bright Remus couldn't help but stare. "This is Remus Lupin." she introduced the tawny-haired boy. "He was being home-schooled before, but Dumbledore approached him about Hogwarts."

"Ah, nice to meet you Lupin." said James leaning across Lily and offering him a handshake. "The name's James Potter."

Remus accepted the hand and did his best to match the athletic grip. when they released his fingers were cramping from the effort, and James leaned back.

"This is Peter Pettigrew." James introduced the chubby boy who smiled around a mouthful of food and waved at Remus.

"And this is Prince Sirius Black, heir to the Black family throne." James made a grandeur motion, bowing at his waist to show the single most handsome person Remus had ever seen in his entire life.

"Hardly." Sirius laughed, reaching to smack his friend on the back of the head. "More like Court-Jester." Sirius grabbed two rolls from a plate and attempted to juggle them.

That was when Remus noticed all the girls stretching their necks around each other to stare at him; this Sirius Black.

"It's nice to meet you all." Remus said as Sirius tried to catch one of the rolls in his mouth. All he managed to do, however, was throw bread at his face. But there was something about his mannerisms, even when he was goofing off, he demanded everyone's attention. Remus could tell he wasn't the only one affected, the girls were giggling now and some of the boys were trying to copy his tricks.

Lily turned back around and started a charming conversation with REmus while the three boys went back to their jokes.

~The Present~

Remus allowed the barest hint of a smile to touch his lips at the memory. the first time his eyes had landed on Sirius Black had been the start of his corruption.

Sighing, Remus moved to put away what he had been working on; a dusty china set. There was no point in trying to maintain the ramshackle house, nothing he could do would put a dent in what needed to be done.


End file.
